Whore's lament.

If desire is the root of all suffering,

Shouldn’t I be allowed to trade some of this trauma for a sex drive?

Actually, just a joy ride-

Then I’ll throw away the keys

With all of these blacked-out memories.

Okay, that was a cheesy rhyme. 

Sort of a 2016 tumblr line.

But... "wasn’t life kind of better back then?"

Pro-Ana at age 10, and her big sister

On the webcam, again, with those dirty old men.

Ok. Am I rhyming too much?

Am I making sense?

Sat watching the night go by, from a filthy leather bench.

My thighs fused together.

Can’t let them see me yet.

Won’t let them - watch me - get undressed...

Until I’m holding the keys again, dangling them back and forth

And up, and around and- 

Ooh, yeah, that moves’s always a winner.

One - more - dance…

And then I’ve earned my dinner.

Never the favorite, ever the imposter.

At least that’s the lie society has thrust upon her.

And her. And every other.

She’s sat across there.

Playing with her hair, lips glossed, and a glassy stare.

She’s me today and ten years ago, she’s her and she’s also…

The girl who looks just like his daughter. 

One of them just likes to chat to her, no dancing please, no need for that, just a listening ear and a blank stare,

Mouth curled up in a displaced smile, still not quite… her…

But she doesn’t mind, his pockets are lined and it’s only half nine. 

7 hours later, stomach in the gutter, heart pounding down the stairs, pleasers trip you over,

Head in the dressing room bin, glamorous chunder? 

Make sure the bosses don’t hear you, they’ll stop giving you shifts. 

Pay attention, there’s only so many cash deposits you can write off as gifts.

I wish I knew that everything would work out in the end,

While bending over backwards for some cash I’ll go and spend 

Like I didn’t just sell my orgasm - well obviously, it was pretend, 

Who can afford a sex drive, in this economy?

Not me, or any of my friends.

We’re all fucking fed up of telling Dave he gives good head, ripping another condom on my braces while giving grown men sex ed.

No I won’t do it raw, I’m a lesbian… But I like submissive men? 

That’s what I tell them, they’ll believe what they wanna hear. 

I mean, “submissive” is just another word for "let’s do loads of gear while I pretend I don’t wanna kill you,"

Both of us wearing a mask but who’s is more sincere?

Do I hate men or do men hate me? 

It’s a chicken and an egg thing, well I mean right now it’s some dude I’m about to peg, thinking:

This has got to be the last time,

Glancing at his wedding ring,

Has he got two kids or three?

And yet I still wonder what he thinks of me.